Written 28 February 2006
I have a belief that the eyeliner girls (those girls who wear too much eyeliner and have experienced more crap than any person should have to handle) are able to go to college and be so much, but when I think of my college experience I wonder if there is a place for those who have been homeless, done drugs, been on probation, etc. Part of it is: Is there hope? Part is: Is there space for them in whatever transformed state they become? Part is: What type of transformation can be expected or is possible? Part is: Would they ever feel comfortable as their new self (or just them) in the world of the accomplished? Would they feel like they betrayed something in their past?
There is nothing wrong with being a hairdresser and tech school graduate, but there are not enough jobs for them all to be hairdressers and they all have so much potential to things they don't even consider within their grasp. I feel like the eyeliner girls so not actually think they have a choice, there are many roads available, and so they are selling themselves short by not acknowledging their self worth and their potential. But then I wonder what it would actually look like for the eyeliner girls to go to college and become the physicists, engineers, authors, architects, teachers, and accountants I know they could be and think they should be.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Joy!
This conversation made me so happy.
I hear one of my fav students shouting in the hall.
Me: (Kid's Name!),what are you doing?
She has a silly excuse. We chat a little.
Me: Where are you supposed to be?
C: In the computer lab... So what do you do in the teachers' room anyway?
Me: I do my homework.
C: Can you get me a soda?
The only soda machine is in the teachers' room.
Me: No.
C: Come on!
Me: Go to the computer lab...
She heads to the computer lab.
C: Will you get me a soda later?
Me: No.
C: Please????
Me: Maybe if you get an A like you deserve. You can do the work, I know you can! You do A work.
C: I tried. But I'm doing better. I have a C.
Me: I know. And you did a great job on your molecule poster. It was awsome!
She doesn't want to go into the computer lab, but comes bounding back over to me in the hall.
C: Did you really like it? It was good, wasn't it?
Me: Yeah, it was great! And it was your own work too. I could tell.
C: Yeah, it was! I didn't cheat!
She is all smiley and bubbly.
Me: No you didn't and it came out really well!
C: Thanks.
Me: Ok, now go to class.
C: Okay...
She relunctantly goes.
It was so great to see her so happy about her own work. She was so happy. It warmed my heart. I wish she would get A's because I know she can. I need to tell her that more often.
I hear one of my fav students shouting in the hall.
Me: (Kid's Name!),what are you doing?
She has a silly excuse. We chat a little.
Me: Where are you supposed to be?
C: In the computer lab... So what do you do in the teachers' room anyway?
Me: I do my homework.
C: Can you get me a soda?
The only soda machine is in the teachers' room.
Me: No.
C: Come on!
Me: Go to the computer lab...
She heads to the computer lab.
C: Will you get me a soda later?
Me: No.
C: Please????
Me: Maybe if you get an A like you deserve. You can do the work, I know you can! You do A work.
C: I tried. But I'm doing better. I have a C.
Me: I know. And you did a great job on your molecule poster. It was awsome!
She doesn't want to go into the computer lab, but comes bounding back over to me in the hall.
C: Did you really like it? It was good, wasn't it?
Me: Yeah, it was great! And it was your own work too. I could tell.
C: Yeah, it was! I didn't cheat!
She is all smiley and bubbly.
Me: No you didn't and it came out really well!
C: Thanks.
Me: Ok, now go to class.
C: Okay...
She relunctantly goes.
It was so great to see her so happy about her own work. She was so happy. It warmed my heart. I wish she would get A's because I know she can. I need to tell her that more often.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Paper for Tomorrow: Values and Reactions to Student Behavior
A paper I wrote for class tomorrow...sensored for the web.
I always have the voice of the masses in my head when dealing with teenagers. They tell me that teenagers are annoying and difficult, some are beyond hope, some cannot be tolerated, some will never succeed, and some are less than desirable. Even worse is when students believe these voices themselves and then these messages come from their mouths. “I can’t get good grades. I’ve tried doing all my homework and being good in class but it doesn’t help. I just can’t do this.” Sometimes when dealing with difficult students I consider the rationalizations for the boxes many people put youth in. Often I think maybe this student is impossible or can never be coaxed to care, but I hope to never adopt that idea.
My goal is to always see teenagers as humans who are learning and often trapped in unfortunate circumstances. I believe that the unfortunate circumstances that many are in will mold them to be what they do not want to be, even if they are never aware of this contradiction and process. So when a student is acting out in class my first instinct may be frustration and punishment, but I know that the classroom and that student will benefit more from the question one-on-one “What do you think is causing this issue?”
That has worked some, but right now I have one student that is not responding to this in a manner than makes my life easier. His case is something deeper and probably has to do with the fact that he has a nearly perfect older brother. I talked to him after school the other day, but no improvement yet.
Students who are quiet scare me, not with a real fear, but because they are easy to forget about and often are the result of deep insecurities and sometimes secrets. I have two students like this who also have pretty major cognitive disabilities and so teachers don’t bother most of the time. I don’t agree with that, but I find it hard to reach all the students in my classes.
I have some to a recent conclusion that I like the “bad” kids more than the “good” kids. This is partly because I don’t think the “bad” kids are really all that bad; it is a figment of teachers’ imaginations and the response of tough kids to not being liked by teachers. I like the “bad” kids because they have energy, they speak up, they rebel, they are responsive to teachers who care about them, they like to be involved, and they like to have fun. I have found that the “good” kids are a little too sure of themselves and self-righteous at times. The “good” kids can also be mean to less fortunate kids and less likely to actually participate in discussions or come up with interesting questions.
I value motivation, energy, aliveness, humor, engagement, inquiry, questioning, and seeing students believe in themselves, especially when they have not before. I think most of my students can see that I believe we need to work together to make class successful and I need their input to make it happen. I have a relationship with some kids and even when I kick them out of class they still know I care about them. But I still don’t feel like I have reached them all and some I don’t quite know what to do with.
I always have the voice of the masses in my head when dealing with teenagers. They tell me that teenagers are annoying and difficult, some are beyond hope, some cannot be tolerated, some will never succeed, and some are less than desirable. Even worse is when students believe these voices themselves and then these messages come from their mouths. “I can’t get good grades. I’ve tried doing all my homework and being good in class but it doesn’t help. I just can’t do this.” Sometimes when dealing with difficult students I consider the rationalizations for the boxes many people put youth in. Often I think maybe this student is impossible or can never be coaxed to care, but I hope to never adopt that idea.
My goal is to always see teenagers as humans who are learning and often trapped in unfortunate circumstances. I believe that the unfortunate circumstances that many are in will mold them to be what they do not want to be, even if they are never aware of this contradiction and process. So when a student is acting out in class my first instinct may be frustration and punishment, but I know that the classroom and that student will benefit more from the question one-on-one “What do you think is causing this issue?”
That has worked some, but right now I have one student that is not responding to this in a manner than makes my life easier. His case is something deeper and probably has to do with the fact that he has a nearly perfect older brother. I talked to him after school the other day, but no improvement yet.
Students who are quiet scare me, not with a real fear, but because they are easy to forget about and often are the result of deep insecurities and sometimes secrets. I have two students like this who also have pretty major cognitive disabilities and so teachers don’t bother most of the time. I don’t agree with that, but I find it hard to reach all the students in my classes.
I have some to a recent conclusion that I like the “bad” kids more than the “good” kids. This is partly because I don’t think the “bad” kids are really all that bad; it is a figment of teachers’ imaginations and the response of tough kids to not being liked by teachers. I like the “bad” kids because they have energy, they speak up, they rebel, they are responsive to teachers who care about them, they like to be involved, and they like to have fun. I have found that the “good” kids are a little too sure of themselves and self-righteous at times. The “good” kids can also be mean to less fortunate kids and less likely to actually participate in discussions or come up with interesting questions.
I value motivation, energy, aliveness, humor, engagement, inquiry, questioning, and seeing students believe in themselves, especially when they have not before. I think most of my students can see that I believe we need to work together to make class successful and I need their input to make it happen. I have a relationship with some kids and even when I kick them out of class they still know I care about them. But I still don’t feel like I have reached them all and some I don’t quite know what to do with.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Making Sense
I had the nice experience of working after school with a girl in my class that is pretty learning disabled. She is sweet and is not a behavior issue at all. Working one-on-one with her was great. I think she really started to understand the concepts of weight and mass more. I think she also appreciated the attention since I think she gets little at home. She is so quiet I confess I also lose her in class without realizing it.
Upon reflection I started wondering if it would be possible to get her to stay after more often and give her the extra help she needs. I had a moment of excitement at the thought of her actually passing science! Then reality hit me. Who cares if she passes even the next two term of science. She still failed the first two and will still fail everything else and still most likely be put into life skills next year in the high school and still not go to college and still not get a job and still be on disability most likely and still not live a "normal life." Her skills are limited and that will always affect her. So what's the point of her passing or spending time after school? I truly believe that the system has set her up to fail and that if she had been loved, nurtured, assisted, and given a enriching environment she would not have such a harsh future ahead of her. But the problem is systemic, so there is little I can do. There is a saying around my school that in middle school we hold a lot of kids together and provide the support they need to deal with their s***** lives, but when they go to the high school they fall apart. Why be a part of the cycle that sets them up to fail in high school where there is less support and nurturing?
Then another thought hit me. It sounds cliche, but the time I spend with her will impact her for life and nurture her emotionally, which could help her in the long run even if she falls between the cracks in high school. This sounds like the natural philanthropic conclusion, but it makes sense in her bleak future.
Unfortunately I often have these "epiphanies" but lack the energy to follow through with them. Especially being in grad school. Any yet this is what teaching is about for me...being different and valuing the small things that give me and my students hope for the future.
Upon reflection I started wondering if it would be possible to get her to stay after more often and give her the extra help she needs. I had a moment of excitement at the thought of her actually passing science! Then reality hit me. Who cares if she passes even the next two term of science. She still failed the first two and will still fail everything else and still most likely be put into life skills next year in the high school and still not go to college and still not get a job and still be on disability most likely and still not live a "normal life." Her skills are limited and that will always affect her. So what's the point of her passing or spending time after school? I truly believe that the system has set her up to fail and that if she had been loved, nurtured, assisted, and given a enriching environment she would not have such a harsh future ahead of her. But the problem is systemic, so there is little I can do. There is a saying around my school that in middle school we hold a lot of kids together and provide the support they need to deal with their s***** lives, but when they go to the high school they fall apart. Why be a part of the cycle that sets them up to fail in high school where there is less support and nurturing?
Then another thought hit me. It sounds cliche, but the time I spend with her will impact her for life and nurture her emotionally, which could help her in the long run even if she falls between the cracks in high school. This sounds like the natural philanthropic conclusion, but it makes sense in her bleak future.
Unfortunately I often have these "epiphanies" but lack the energy to follow through with them. Especially being in grad school. Any yet this is what teaching is about for me...being different and valuing the small things that give me and my students hope for the future.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Interests and The Here And Now
So I was thinking more about this vague thing I call my future plans and research interests. I want to pursue a PhD and so I was doing more research into schools, which turned out to be great because it got me thinking more about what I am interested in on a larger scale (larger than surviving the next time C+I decide to start a mutiny). Every time my ideas get a little clearer and a little more focused I get more excited, because most of the time my ideas are a swarm of buzzing words and phrases or sometimes only an array of feelings and emotions from experiences. So this is what I came up with.
I am interested in developing and researching how schools can be learning communities that lead to greater moral, social, and emotional development in teens (evident by a sense of purpose, responsibility, motivation, compassion) through teacher-student mentor relationships, service learning, experiential learning, community, internships, longer school days, technology, equity education, social justice, exploration, student interests, unique opportunities, student involvement, and so much more. I don't want to construct a model. I think there are too many models that go in and out of style. It is more of a philosophy, an ideal, a vision that many models or schools can fit into and embrace. It is an idea that I want to research. I want to research schools that do these kinds of things and see success or not, models that emphasize this development, geographical areas that have particular trends, etc. I believe there is a trend between the type of development I am talking about and the type of structures, policies, and activities that I listed above.
Most often my ideas are vague, hazy things floating in front of me but not tangible. Every time I put my finger on specific actions or beliefs I get excited. I had an interesting experience before vacation when I sat down with a boy that has been driving me nuts in class. The meeting had been put off for a long time so there was a lot I had to talk about, including swearing, walking away from me when I was talking to him, calling me names, yelling out answers in class, and other disruptive behavior. I wish I could remember everything I said. The words came without me really thinking about what my approach was. I asked him a lot of questions, like "What did you say to me in class today" "Why do you have this detention" "What would be a better way of handling that situation." I explained to him why I did things I did along the way. I tried to show him why the things he was doing were not helping him succeed. He told me some helpful things, like he has a temper problem and he walks away because he is mad. I asked him to tell me if he wants to talk about something later and then follow through too. Then I asked him if he had any ideas to help his behavior in class. He asked me to remind him to think before he speaks when he comes in the classroom. I also showed him a card I made that says "Focus" that will be his reminder and warning before he is sent out of class. It was a really good meeting. I haven't had to use the card yet.
An interventionist sat in on the meeting and he made an interesting comment to me afterwards. He said "That meeting was good. He he is the type of kid that if you show him respect he will show you respect."
This whole experience was so interesting for me because I didn't go in there with a specific plan, but the philosophies that are rooted in me and that I have a hard time pulling out really just controlled what I said and how I structured our conversation. Something inside me clicked and told me not to talk, but to ask him questions, make him take responsibility for this problem and the solutions. I am glad I have internalized this idea. And I know where it came from...Four Rivers most recently, but also my own parents. Seeds of Solidarity and People's Market play into a lot of how I think. And of course, my own educational experience. Glen and youth group are a huge influence. So were the reading I did in Citizen Scholars courses. It's all coming together in the realm of teaching (and, wow, I've been writing for 40 minutes).
I am interested in developing and researching how schools can be learning communities that lead to greater moral, social, and emotional development in teens (evident by a sense of purpose, responsibility, motivation, compassion) through teacher-student mentor relationships, service learning, experiential learning, community, internships, longer school days, technology, equity education, social justice, exploration, student interests, unique opportunities, student involvement, and so much more. I don't want to construct a model. I think there are too many models that go in and out of style. It is more of a philosophy, an ideal, a vision that many models or schools can fit into and embrace. It is an idea that I want to research. I want to research schools that do these kinds of things and see success or not, models that emphasize this development, geographical areas that have particular trends, etc. I believe there is a trend between the type of development I am talking about and the type of structures, policies, and activities that I listed above.
Most often my ideas are vague, hazy things floating in front of me but not tangible. Every time I put my finger on specific actions or beliefs I get excited. I had an interesting experience before vacation when I sat down with a boy that has been driving me nuts in class. The meeting had been put off for a long time so there was a lot I had to talk about, including swearing, walking away from me when I was talking to him, calling me names, yelling out answers in class, and other disruptive behavior. I wish I could remember everything I said. The words came without me really thinking about what my approach was. I asked him a lot of questions, like "What did you say to me in class today" "Why do you have this detention" "What would be a better way of handling that situation." I explained to him why I did things I did along the way. I tried to show him why the things he was doing were not helping him succeed. He told me some helpful things, like he has a temper problem and he walks away because he is mad. I asked him to tell me if he wants to talk about something later and then follow through too. Then I asked him if he had any ideas to help his behavior in class. He asked me to remind him to think before he speaks when he comes in the classroom. I also showed him a card I made that says "Focus" that will be his reminder and warning before he is sent out of class. It was a really good meeting. I haven't had to use the card yet.
An interventionist sat in on the meeting and he made an interesting comment to me afterwards. He said "That meeting was good. He he is the type of kid that if you show him respect he will show you respect."
This whole experience was so interesting for me because I didn't go in there with a specific plan, but the philosophies that are rooted in me and that I have a hard time pulling out really just controlled what I said and how I structured our conversation. Something inside me clicked and told me not to talk, but to ask him questions, make him take responsibility for this problem and the solutions. I am glad I have internalized this idea. And I know where it came from...Four Rivers most recently, but also my own parents. Seeds of Solidarity and People's Market play into a lot of how I think. And of course, my own educational experience. Glen and youth group are a huge influence. So were the reading I did in Citizen Scholars courses. It's all coming together in the realm of teaching (and, wow, I've been writing for 40 minutes).
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
The Science of Change
Written 28 Nov on the back a homework assignment in a moment of enlightenment
We are often comfortable with our position but when we are stretched our density changes too. We just feel the stretching and uncomfortableness but then when we look around we see that by expanding and being pulled and moving forward we are less dense inside and what we have known to be then seems like a thin broth in need of fleshing out and packing in knowledge and experiences (reflections) to fill those holes that never existed before. Our full, whole world suddenly becomes in need of thinking, defining, and exploring the framework of beliefs that still exists but now are not sufficient to operate in this new world and new positioning of me in my world.
We are often comfortable with our position but when we are stretched our density changes too. We just feel the stretching and uncomfortableness but then when we look around we see that by expanding and being pulled and moving forward we are less dense inside and what we have known to be then seems like a thin broth in need of fleshing out and packing in knowledge and experiences (reflections) to fill those holes that never existed before. Our full, whole world suddenly becomes in need of thinking, defining, and exploring the framework of beliefs that still exists but now are not sufficient to operate in this new world and new positioning of me in my world.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Power?
So before today I had never thrown students out of my classes before. But today I kicked 5 people out of classes. Three from skills, one from science (actually one of the ones from skills), and one from a math class I subbed. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I think I went on a power trip...but maybe it was more like a collision of odds. In Skills they were taking a test and these kids finished early and won't stop fooling around. In science the kid woouldn't stop talking and fooling around. In Math the kid was playing with a girl's crutches while my back was turned. Craziness.
But I will have to figure out where my lines are and give warnings to kids. I don't believe in no chances, except when its something like the crutches. That's ust ridiculous. They know better. Oh, they are so much worse when I'm subbing. It's crazy. Probably because some of the work is silly...busy work to make it easy on the sub. And because they do not deal well with change. Transitions are really hard for most kids and for the group as a whole. I'd like to ruminate on that subject some more, but I need to make sure I am set for another day tomorrow.
But I will have to figure out where my lines are and give warnings to kids. I don't believe in no chances, except when its something like the crutches. That's ust ridiculous. They know better. Oh, they are so much worse when I'm subbing. It's crazy. Probably because some of the work is silly...busy work to make it easy on the sub. And because they do not deal well with change. Transitions are really hard for most kids and for the group as a whole. I'd like to ruminate on that subject some more, but I need to make sure I am set for another day tomorrow.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Halloween Dance
Ben and I went to the Halloween Dance at Great Falls last night. WE are green crayons at the suggestion of one of my students. I couldn't think of anything better. Students were having so much fun. I guess a few years ago they decided that since lots of kids don't like to dance the teachers would provide other activities. So the teachers opened up the classrooms and kids can decorate cookies, make smores, make butterscotch spiders, do a doughnut race, etc. The kids also submitted over 400 songs to the DJ. It was fantastic! People had so much fun. Ben and I helped judge the costumes. Tonight we will recycle our costumes by going to Randy's Halloween Party. Should be fun!
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Parents Meeting
I sat in on a meeting of the 8th grade teachers, 2 interventionists, adjustment councelor, principle, and the parents of a 8th grade boy today. Teachers had been observing disruptive bahavior in the classroom even though the boy can do all he work and is mainly successful. Everyone expressed how bright he is and how much excess energy he has. The teachers also said that the football coaches couldn't believe that teachers are having problems with him because he is such a focused leader on the field. It was wonderful to see concerned parents and teachers and I liked the emphasis on helping him succeed. But I couldn't help but wonder if we in society are trying to fit students like him into a box that is not right for them.
Being in public school this week has made me more jittery and bouncy than I have ever felt before. So I wonder, could public schools be the cause of the overdiagnosis of ADD and ADHD? I say that with a smile because I know there is more to it than that. I know medications can help people function normally and I do believe they have a place. But containing young people in one building for all but maybe an hour of the day is torture for some. I guess I just feel for this kid partly because I am trying to work through my own feelings of being trapped in a school all day. I have never had this experience before and I am going stir crazy. I am determined to take kids outside the first chance I have. I have to make it work because this is so unnatural and unhealthy!!! There is still a part of me that cries out "don't let them drug you to make you fit into their box for you in this society...run away!!!!" I cannot completely rid myself of the conspiracy theory of drugs like that, even though I take medications myself.
Kids just need to run around and explore! Why must they be kept under lock and key and hall pass?!? I know now that I would have never survived public schools. NEVER. Thanks Mom and Dad!!!! xo
Being in public school this week has made me more jittery and bouncy than I have ever felt before. So I wonder, could public schools be the cause of the overdiagnosis of ADD and ADHD? I say that with a smile because I know there is more to it than that. I know medications can help people function normally and I do believe they have a place. But containing young people in one building for all but maybe an hour of the day is torture for some. I guess I just feel for this kid partly because I am trying to work through my own feelings of being trapped in a school all day. I have never had this experience before and I am going stir crazy. I am determined to take kids outside the first chance I have. I have to make it work because this is so unnatural and unhealthy!!! There is still a part of me that cries out "don't let them drug you to make you fit into their box for you in this society...run away!!!!" I cannot completely rid myself of the conspiracy theory of drugs like that, even though I take medications myself.
Kids just need to run around and explore! Why must they be kept under lock and key and hall pass?!? I know now that I would have never survived public schools. NEVER. Thanks Mom and Dad!!!! xo
Monday, September 12, 2005
Self Esteem...gosh am I tired!
Written during Silent Reading time today...
Barbara said in class: "The way to improve students' self esteem is to be really specific about their strengths; avoid language like "good" and "smart"
Why is it that come kids don't listen or know what is going on in class? What are they thinking about? I would feel better if they were day-dreaming about fun and exploratory things, but it is more likely they are thinking about home life, social life, or cruel sick jokes.
On another topic:
It is fine for students to be different (in dress or likes/dislikes), I even encourage it, but they need to know they are doing that and own their identity as such. Problems occur when students don't realize that they wear clothes or do things that others think are silly and they fine out in a harsh manner with much embarrassment. This is where feeling unaccepted often leads to conformity (out of survival, really). But if a student knows they are different and owns that characteristic they can stay strong. Unfortunately I feel like everyone wants to be accepted and so I'm not sure if it is possible to go through secondary education unscathed. I'm sure everyone can remember the terrible feeling when you realize that you are the only one wearing sneakers when everyone else is in sandals or you are the only one in a t-shirt and jeans when everyone else is in shorts. I can certainly remember almost feeling sick and wanting to run back into my closet to find anything better.
But then again, how can people help young people make the decision not to conform and hold to their identity of dress, etc?? If you just ask them if they understand that they look strange to others and want to stay strong, it is still embarrassing because you are still someone giving them the raw truth that they won't fit in. It almost has nothing to do with knowing about how your actual characteristics are viewed and more to do with general self esteem. But not entirely.
There is still that time of coming into self awareness and the awareness of our surroundings. There still is that point of going from just hearing "some people treat others unfairly because of how they look or what they do" to seeing and feeling the sharp painful reality of injustice, bullying, social status, and our "place" in the world. Everyone has to go through that process and decide what to do about our characteristics that we can change and how to live with the ones we can't change.
But how can we help teenagers understand how they appear to others and the choices they have to make about their identity before the wind gets knocked out of them by their peers? Is it possible to save them or help them? Would any teen want to dress as they always have if they were told by a trusted adult "people are going to laugh at you and you need to decide what you are going to do about that and if you want to change?" I have no answers...I need feedback.
I am soooooo tired.
Barbara said in class: "The way to improve students' self esteem is to be really specific about their strengths; avoid language like "good" and "smart"
Why is it that come kids don't listen or know what is going on in class? What are they thinking about? I would feel better if they were day-dreaming about fun and exploratory things, but it is more likely they are thinking about home life, social life, or cruel sick jokes.
On another topic:
It is fine for students to be different (in dress or likes/dislikes), I even encourage it, but they need to know they are doing that and own their identity as such. Problems occur when students don't realize that they wear clothes or do things that others think are silly and they fine out in a harsh manner with much embarrassment. This is where feeling unaccepted often leads to conformity (out of survival, really). But if a student knows they are different and owns that characteristic they can stay strong. Unfortunately I feel like everyone wants to be accepted and so I'm not sure if it is possible to go through secondary education unscathed. I'm sure everyone can remember the terrible feeling when you realize that you are the only one wearing sneakers when everyone else is in sandals or you are the only one in a t-shirt and jeans when everyone else is in shorts. I can certainly remember almost feeling sick and wanting to run back into my closet to find anything better.
But then again, how can people help young people make the decision not to conform and hold to their identity of dress, etc?? If you just ask them if they understand that they look strange to others and want to stay strong, it is still embarrassing because you are still someone giving them the raw truth that they won't fit in. It almost has nothing to do with knowing about how your actual characteristics are viewed and more to do with general self esteem. But not entirely.
There is still that time of coming into self awareness and the awareness of our surroundings. There still is that point of going from just hearing "some people treat others unfairly because of how they look or what they do" to seeing and feeling the sharp painful reality of injustice, bullying, social status, and our "place" in the world. Everyone has to go through that process and decide what to do about our characteristics that we can change and how to live with the ones we can't change.
But how can we help teenagers understand how they appear to others and the choices they have to make about their identity before the wind gets knocked out of them by their peers? Is it possible to save them or help them? Would any teen want to dress as they always have if they were told by a trusted adult "people are going to laugh at you and you need to decide what you are going to do about that and if you want to change?" I have no answers...I need feedback.
I am soooooo tired.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
