I cannot believe I have not blogged in over a month. I took a break from blogworld due to lack of time and trying to be more present on Etsy. I made my first Treasury on Etsy but keep missing the openings since then. I got some shirts screened this week, so hopefully I will have more on the store soon.
Back to The Mayhem tomorrow. I was really worn down leading up to vacation. I pumped myself full of antioxidants so I have not been terribly sick but absolutely exhausted. I slept for most of vacation. I wanted to work on the house, but it just so happened that this week was a period waiting for the next step, but that was probably for the better. I did not even put energy into art this week. Relaxing was necessary and I hope will make school easier to swallow and art flow naturally.
What do I dread about going back to school? It is the same dread I have when youth group events are looming in the near future. I just want to do nothing or one thing. I really don't know what I want to do, but I also just don't understand my own dreading of things like going back to school. I got the sleep I needed and the time with people I love. I got outside in the daylight (such a treat...teachers never see the light of day in the winter). I dread waking up before the sun to a cold house, cold car. I dread the noise of 300 young voices greeting, abusing, and catching up with one another. I dread almost falling asleep after lunch with 20 kids following my directions. I dread my feet hurting and just wanting to sit down but having nothing half-way ergonomic to sit on. I dread feeling underprepared. I dread the sound of keys opening my door as I am giving instruction. I dread the combination of putting in long hours and students' complete lack of appreciation. I dread grasping and racking my brain for some way to engage and challenge every student with a wildly wide range of abilities in each of my 5 classes. I dread the look of boredom and the face of apathy. I dread the ever-present whining. I dread the next crisis.
To balance my head...what do I miss? I miss the students who make me smile everyday. I miss challenging young minds. I miss my outdoor club kids...I love them so. I miss hearing the most ridiculous stories. I miss seeing kids "get it." I miss the satisfaction of finding a really good way of getting the information across. I miss planning...yes, I love to plan. I miss dreaming up better ways to teach and inspire students. I miss hearing that students enjoy my class.
Is there anything else I miss? What does this unbalance in things that come to mind in each catagory mean for me? Probably nothing because most people agree that vacation is a beautiful thing and do not want to leave the vacation state-of-mind.